Death and the Corpse

one

Levi and Alexi out too late for a school week, planning their get away from the towns notorious thugs.  Taking advantage of the thug’s usual intoxicated escapades that terrorizes the town’s people, Levi and Alexi stylized themselves on their superheroes, for each episode they escaped saw them taking on a different hero, and on this particular night their assumed roles were Batman and Robin.

The town they lived in was small consisting of two public houses, one at each end, a fruit and veg shop, a few convenience stores that sold anything from creosote to toilet roll.  It was a quiet town, family legacies could be traced as far back to the beginning of census records.  The this particular night, the twins avoiding detection were forced into farthest corner of the town, fleeing from the notorious town drunks. Alexi exhausted from running through narrow streets and scaling walls, stopping short bent over holding onto his stomach taking deep long breaths, inhaling through the nose and exhaling out the mouth to stop himself from vomiting.  Levi had by this time already reached the end of the street, assuming Alexi was behind him.

It should be noted that these two are twins, and while it is assumed twins share everything including telepathic connection could not be as far from the truth in respect of these two for they were as similar as chalk and cheese, in fact the only resemblance the had was they looked like ordinary brothers and not having identical features.  Their tastes in everything were different from foods to sports.  Although they did share similar tastes in movies, they unanimously agreed on was teaching anybody who threated the good folk of the town a lesson, this was top of their list, and causing havoc was second.  To their parents, in fact anyone that met them, Levi and Alexi were just like the Dukes of Hazzard boys Beau & Luke although no one would actually tell them.

Returning to where Alexi is about to vomit and Levi has raced on, Alexi thinking Levi is behind him, plots their next move.

‘well bro! all we have to do is race over that road and through that garden there as long as the Connolly’s haven’t locked their gate, we’re on the home straight’ instruct Alexi anxiously looking up and down the road awaiting Levi’s approval.

Their town was tortured by thugs who thought they could rule the town, they drank all night at home or wherever and when bored or after formulating  some ridiculous scheme they, all 6 of them, stumbled onto the street where they would destroy and steal anything that was not cemented to the ground.  Their usual main-stay pub was ‘Murphy’s’, this was their designated lair where they apparently ‘do business’, selling drugs, alcohol which was a cocktail of cheap vodka diluted with car de-icer, cigarettes that contained substance no one could identify but burned and smoked of their own accord sometimes magically without the need of fire.  These thugs actually thought they were big time racketeers, they would domineer a snug in the pub and boast loud enough for everyone to hear how they would ‘deal’ with people, what they would do to anyone who did not comply, how they could go into any establishment, business or homes and just ‘take what they want’.

It was quite comical listening to their outlandish plots and many of Murphy’s regulars, when there was nothing on the tv, which was an unfortunate regularity as Murph had a very old television that intermittently switched itself off, and after the normal greeting how’s the family and weather was exhausted, the thugs proved very entertaining.  On one occasion, after a lengthy discussion between themselves on how successful they were the thugs decided to invade Murphy’s and take it over, Murph was racking it in and should pay what the thugs believed owed to them. This momentous day the thugs swaggered in the front door, usual patrons entered through the side door, proudly approaching the bar, Murph was standing as usual behind arms crossed surveying who had just arrived.  Designated thug whose nick-name was Tick, this is because it was said landed himself in hospital after being picked-up by the police who were responding to one of his riotous outburst, the police couldn’t stand his unsanitary state and took him to the nearest A&E for decontamination  the nurses found more live bugs living on him they had ever seen on any human being.  They found ticks, lice and a few other forms of insects.

Tick sauntered in proud as punch, in his black fake leather coat Tick had even slicked his hair back specially for this occasion, standing 5 foot nothing chin in the air, looking down his nose at Murph with hands on his hips and announced this was their pub and they could have any alcohol they wanted to drink. 

‘caurse, ya can hav aunythn ya wanta drank’ Murph answered with a smirk knowing what was to follow.

‘no, I naw we can ave aunythn da drank’ said Tick folding his arms and looking over each shoulder checking his comrades were behind him, reassured he turned back to Murph ‘wa wat am sayn’ announcing  each word deliberately ‘is tha we’ indicating his pals ‘will get served all drank…free’

‘free! Ya say’ replied Murph

‘yep’

Murph was astounded, lost for words could it be possible these men believing they could demand this of him, he knew they were morons but were they really that stupid? Now, as this was a town where generation upon of generation of families lived and died, everyone knew Murph was from a family of sportsmen, Gaelic footballers, hurlers and boxers, Murph was a champion of the former, no one in their right mind would ever challenge Murph and on this day the locals were going to see the best entertainment of the year, if there were mobile phones the entire town would descend on Murphy’s.  All sitting on bar stools intuitively stood up with pint in hand and lined up against the wall for a better view.  Murph took a step closer to Tick gesturing for him to come closer, Tick complied smiling believing he has got one over Murph who at almost 6 foot reached over the bar and griped Tick by the throat pulling him off his feet closer to his nose.  This action alone gave reason why Murph tolerated these thugs in his bar, he was keeping an eye and ear on their plots and schemes which was the reason all failed miserably, and knowing he would knock them into line when the opportunity arose. Murphy a man for few words never needed to explain himself, his presence alone commanded attention, he retained his boxer physique and anyone who saw him instantly knew he was a man who could handle himself.  These imbeciles, deranged hoods believed Murph was beyond his sell-by date, too old and slow to take them on the sextet.  Incidentally the sextet called themselves the quartet, influence by Kray twins, discerning it make them sound official and academic and therefore, cunning and strong, a force to be reckoned with.  Now that all customers were lined up awaiting, sporting wide grins after a long time waiting to see these idiots get their come-up-in’s was precious, priceless no amount of money could buy and by sheer happenstance they were in the front seats.

With a death grip on Tick’s throat, a sorry excuse Murph pulled him towards his nose and with a calm deliberate voice ‘what did you say?’

Tick was in a perilous position mid-drift balancing on the bar, nose to nose with an awarding winning semi-pro boxer, and legs outstretched behind, finding it difficult to swallow mind racing how does he get out of this as quickly and safely as possible, and possibly saving face. ‘huugh, umm umm’ looking a Murph and point to his throat.

Murph loosened his grip allowing Tick to speak ‘Well I said…’pausing to swallow remembering the quartet was behind and wanting to look brave gathered some brawn it was necessary for the future of the gang and their up and coming racketeering business that would take on the town just like the gangsters in The Godfather.  It was an agreed decision that Murphy’s the oldest and most respected business was the beginning and essential for the success of their venture.  The actions that preceded happened so quick and fluid the thug hadn’t time to scream, the punters stood breathless with mouths gaping as Murph pulled the thug towards him standing him upright and delivered his famous hay-stacker. One punch and the thug folded like a deck of cards,  Murph with a quizzical looked at the heap at his feet instantly thought he was acting, with the toe of his boot nudged him in the ribs checking for a reaction, there was not a peep shaking his head in disgust Murph looked at the remaining quartet who stood aghast at the events realising their impetuous mistake quickly turned to make a quick exit, foiled by their own calamity as they bumped, stumbled and fell over each other, it was like a well-executed comedy sketch.  Eventually they managed to reach the door and make their somewhat hasty escape never minding their unconscious glorious leader.

Murph with fists on hips rotated left to right surveying the results of what just happened, punters remained welded to the spot, rigid with reactions frozen in time, Murph bent down and gripped the remains at his feet by the collar pulling him upright,  surveying the creature  Murph mistakenly breathed in immediately grimacing turning his head away from the figure, he honestly could not tell was this his usual stench or because of him discharging himself in both way, Murph determined it was all of it.  ‘Righ boys’ announced Murph ‘need elp lft’n this’ nodding toward the unconscious body.  His customers remained in line, mouth shut closed clenching their pints which by this time were warm and flat, seeing his was not going to get any volunteers he offered an incentive ‘You’ll get free pnt of wha’evr you’re drnk’n’. A couple sort-of looked interested ‘arigh you can ave two pnts’ there was a definite interest but still none willing.  He could drag him out himself but decided why bother he’ll offer the pleasure to another ‘kay you’ll get…’pause for effect…’pint and caser’.  Six stepped forward putting their pints on the bar Murph point to 4 of the youngest and most sturdy ‘rit you are mon rnd ere’.  No one ever dared to walk behind Murph’s bar, and any who attempted you were looking at the example that lay before them.

‘m’on, rnd ere’ Murph instructed firmly, the 4 boys filed  one after another as Murph lay the carcase on its back point at the first ‘ya ere take dis arm, ya’ pointing to the second ‘da odr arm’ pointing at the third and fourth ‘ya take da leg’.  Standing back to give the boys room to manoeuvre ‘grab ths arm and uder da oxer’ directed Murph.  All the men grimaced collectively complaining at the condition of the lifeless figure ‘Christ wha is it’ one said ‘holy shit’ said another ‘oi! Less of it, tis shit but it ain’t holy’ replied another and so the banter and complaining continued until they reached outside the bar ‘Hey Murph’ cried one, ‘Wha?’ bellowed Murph.

 ‘wha da we do? Like where da we put’im’

‘jus dump’im at da wall dis mates can clect’im’

There was a small wall that surround the garden of the house that was also doubled as a hairdresser when Carla was on the wagon, which wasn’t in operation very often.  Being located next door to a bar was unfortunate, but while being neighbour of a bar proved very prosperous as clients, who dared to visit, were inebriated and brave enough dared to suffer the wrath of Carla’s scissors, only to remain in the dog-house as wives, girlfriends and partners could judge the amount monies spent in Murph’s by the condition of the head that bowed before them.  Their heads were the anecdote for all that frequented Murph’s for the duration until their hair recovered, one bright spark decided to raise funds for charity advertised he would sit in Carla’s chair while sober to have his hair cut, the money he raised was the largest amount the charity received, that was a good year, he only did it the once.

Two

‘what d’ya say bro?’ enquired Alexi, adrenaline is pumping through his veins, heart pounding in his ears, out of breath after the rush of escape but there was no response, the longer they wait the worse it is, the excitement will eventually make him ill.

‘Levi?’

Still no response Alexi couldn’t wait any longer these guys maybe drunk and slower than usual but they are still on the move and intent on finding the twins.  ‘Alexi, where are you?’ chancing a look over his shoulder only to find him remaining at the lower street end one arm cradling his stomach, the other holding onto the wall struggling to stand upright.

Trudging back down the street ‘Al wha are ya do’n? ya gon mad? Get up ere they’re on da ma’ve, ca’mon if dey cach us we’re ded’ chastised Levi ‘Al ca’mon we gotta go’ implored Levi

‘I can’t’ exclaimed Al whose colour was turning from flushed rose to a pale grey.

‘but we gotta mov Al!’ pleaded Levi

‘I can’t’ entreated Alexi shaking his head breathless ‘ma…s..ssto..tum…hrts…an…i…cnt..beath’ extending his arm out to Levi searching for support pleading ‘jst…le…me…a…wile’

‘we_don’t’_have_a_while’ solicited Levi through gritted teeth, in an attempt to keep his cool which was on the verge to erupt.

‘I _need_a_minute’ pleaded Alexi breathing easing to regular rhythm and stretching himself up.

‘a’righ, a’righ’ soothed Levi patting Alexi on the back, stepping around him to get a sly view of the street.  Looking up and down ‘Well thres no sine ravey’ with a finger in the air mabe dey ha mar alco thn we thod, jst get ya beth bck aun wen ravey we’d run ta end of yon street, cras da rad an thru Cannally’s, get end of her grden we get ovr der wall an w’er nrly hame’ explained Levi convinced it was their best plan.  In fact it was the only viable plan if they were to get home safely.

Alexi still bent shook his head the idea was horrifying to him ‘No…No, ravey’nt work, Cannally hav der gat lack’d’

‘ya dant kno dat’ interrupted Levi

‘evr snce da brak’ns dey hav’ gripping a hold on Levi’s arm ‘we’ll nat mak it’

By now Alexi was regaining some colour back to his cheeks and righting himself ‘we’ll nat mak it an tis wast af tame’.

‘wa da ya want ma ta da? Beached Alexi. ‘we dan’t hav any chace, thrs na whr else ta go’ persisted Levi whose neck was turning crimson with anger, this was a tell tale sign an indication that foretold when the redness reached his cheeks Levi would loose his temper,  Alexi from pas experience knew to either move very quickly to try to placate him or duck behind the nearest blockage and hunker down. The last time Levi ‘last’it’ Alexi woke up at the doctor’s house.  Spread out on his kitchen table his poor mother beside herself in fear he would never wake again, he was unconscious for three hours, needless to say want Levi got in return from their mother vindicated Alexi.  Both boys learnt a few valuable lessons that day, one where Levi’s temper came from, two that was the day they found Levi’s hidden boxer talent and third the only person in their life that would ultimately scare the shit out of them, was their mother.  

 ‘rgh Levi, cam dawn’ Alexi with his hands up in submission ‘cam dawn’ he implored ‘cercly Levi ya nee da cam dawn’.

Levi enjoyed watching Alexi pleading with him, attempting to squirm his way out of an awkward situation, he knew he had him there and he would agree to whatever he planned.

‘naw cam dawn’ continued Alexi. ‘dan’t da anthng stapad’

Levi face fuming red and looking directly at Alexi, slowly positioning himself square in front, poised ready for action.  This was Alexi’s que to edge his way back, still with his hands up in submission ‘Lxv cercly stap dan’t do anth’n stapad’. 

Alexi’s breathing quickened visibly frightened, Levi couldn’t help but relish smirking at the grovelling Alexi before him who immediately realised Levi was putting him on pretending, exaggerating just to watch Alexi panic ‘ur a feck’n shite Levi’ Al exclaimed, dropping his hands ‘I cnt leve ya, ya shite’.

This just fuelled the hilarity of the situation causing Levi to laugh even more pissing Alexi off even more ‘Rght Levi ya nee ta sut ap cas we hav a nambr of baud fellas aftr us!’ shouted Alexi.

‘Shh! Ya maran why ar ya shating?’ Levi taking hold of Alexi’s arm ‘Are ya mad? Get a hald of ya’saelf or ya’ll waken da neighbars’

Both paused or a moment, staring in silence at nothing waiting for the slightest sound of pursuing footsteps, waiting for their next move.  This was taking too long for Alexi, he was the first to move running down the lane, Levi in triumph punched the air ‘I wan, ya maved first’.

‘shat it Levi, rady naw ya’as a drama queen’

‘I wan’ Levi whispered loudly to Alexi

‘Ya’r a weeun’

Levi  reaching Alexi ‘A-ha, I beat ya jst like da tme’ just as he reached Alexi and looking over his shoulder ‘wa are we do’n?’

‘Ovr thon’ pointing across the road to a house.

‘Naw Al we nee ta ga dawn there’ Levi point west down the end of the houses.

‘Naw we ga there aund we can hid in der grdn’ Alexi triumphed at his quick thinking and better solution.

‘Na man they hav a dag’

‘Wah? Wen did they get wan?’

‘De odr day, I saw’d it’

‘feck sake’

‘we hav ta gaw daen tre’

Alexi was still at Levi’s suggestion knowing where exactly Levi was taking them.

‘it’s safar’

Alexi staring at the ground ‘safr?’

‘yeha safr, we ran dawn there aund crass da field aund we ga ta da gaveyard’ explained Levi

Fear held Alexi to the spot ‘Ma always says alcahal was da caase of sacial errasian’ Alexi attempted to distract Levi from his immediate plan.

‘Ma alsa blam’d alcahal far da case yang wamen yase da case far da farnacat’n’ reiterated Levi with a wink and accompanied click of his tongue. ‘lak yak aw thas is ar anly aptian’.

‘I hate da place’ Alexi surrendered ‘gives me da wellies’

‘it’s a gaveyard’ pointed Levi ‘aund its nat lake anythung gonna jamp at aund grab ya, cause its fulla dead ans’ Levi shook his head and juked down the direction of the graveyard.